Selfish vs. Self-care Continued

Written by Meredith Kimmel

February 26, 2020

For the month of February, my blog has been examining the word “selfish”.  I’ve had clients say to me, “I wish I could be more selfish, because I want to do…”, “if I were more selfish, I could achieve a better result”, and other similar sentiments. 

What I hope you have gained from the examination of the word “selfish” is that people are using this term incorrectly and therefore selling themselves short. 

People think when are doing for themselves, they are being selfish.  This is not the case.  Let me repeat that, this is not the case.  I really like that the people in my network are so selfless. 

When we are achieving our goals and working toward self-improvement, we are not being selfish.  Rather, we are engaging in self-care.  If a single mom is working toward getting a higher paying job, it is not only for her benefit, but for her children as well.  When a recent college graduate negotiates for a higher salary at their first job, it is not selfish, but self-care. The negotiation can allow them to pay off their student loans faster so they can save for their first home. 

We have been taught by society to accept what we are given. If we ask for more, we are being selfish.  I want to turn that sentiment on its side. 

Doing what is best for yourself is NOT selfish.  Achieving your best, making goals for yourself, getting a better job, buying a new home, losing weight, falling in love, or any other goal for personal improvement is NOT selfishness. 

Change your perceptions. Change your thoughts. Fight for what you want.  Seek self-improvement.  Negotiate for that higher salary.  Do whatever it is that would benefit you.  It’s self-care.

You are the most important person to yourself.  You are worth it.  Get out there and get what is yours. 

Remember seeking the best for yourself is not selfishness, it’s self-care.

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