How May I Help You? Asking for Help

Written by Meredith Kimmel

January 8, 2020

Why are we so scared to ask for help?  I’m guilty of this.  In fact, coaching has really highlighted the fact that I do not like to reach out for help.  I have also recognized through coaching that this is a behavior that I would like to change and I am working right now to change it. 

Several years ago, I was going through a difficult time.  No one knew about it because I didn’t share it with anyone outside my family.  I was keeping up appearances.  When everything came to light, a friend of mine said to me, “you don’t reach out for help.  We are all here for you, but we can’t help you unless we know.”   I was really struck by my friend’s sentiment, but I didn’t let my guard down and over the years, I didn’t do much to change my behavior.  On the rare occasion, when I do ask a friend for help or for a moment to talk, I do it with a tinge of guilt. I always send a text or email after the conversation thanking them for their time.  I usually get a message back saying “of course”, “happy to help”, or “that’s what friends are for”, but that does little to assuage the guilt.

Why don’t we want to ask for help?  Are we ashamed?  Are we so busy that we assume everyone else is busy, and that we would be a burden to them if we ask for help?  Do we believe that by asking for help we are showing weakness?  Whatever the reason is, it is okay to ask for help. 

Sometimes help isn’t even what we are looking for but we think that it is.  Sometimes, we just need to talk and work through an issue to find a resolution and then that need for “help” is met.  What I have learned from life, is that you never need to be alone.  There is someone who is always there to be in your corner.  That is the beauty of coaching.  Coaching provides for an impartial person who can support you and help you during that time of need.  When you are ready to let go of whatever is causing you not to ask for help, I will be that person who will be by your side and in your corner.

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